Why do rude or arrogant people seem to have more friends than kind people?

Perceptions about people’s behavior and personalities play a huge role in the social circles of both children and adults. Children might find themselves surrounded by their peers who have similar attitudes and behaviors, and adults may find themselves cherishing the company of their own social circles. Unfortunately, when it comes to the company people keep, it seems as though many are drawn to the negative and harsh traits of others rather than the kindness of others. This article will explore why some people with rude or arrogant personalities may seem to have more friends than kind people.

The Illusion of Control

It’s human nature to feel out of control in a world where many aspects of our lives can be unpredictable and seem beyond our reach. This feeling of helplessness leaves us with a sense of insecurity, and so we tend to try to manipulate our environment in the form of control by channeling our feelings into a strong and assertive attitude. Being assertive and “in control” can provide a sense of control and protection; however, it can come off as being aggressive or rude. As much as this behavior is unacceptable, it is often perceived as strength, and people may be more likely to choose to connect with someone exhibiting these traits than with someone who is passive or kind.

The Attention Factor

Rude and arrogant people may often take up more space in conversation, come up with controversial topics, and generally be the most talked about. This attention factor can often be attractive to potential friends, as they may subconsciously want to be associated with the popular individual in the group. The attention that follows an arrogant or rude behavior can be intoxicating, and people may be drawn toward these arrogant personalities to join in or take part in the attention they’re receiving.

Subconscious Pairings

The need to belong and fit in with a particular group is a driving force for many people. We tend to be drawn towards other people who share similar traits and attitudes that are similar to our own. It’s not uncommon for our subconscious to be drawn towards people with similar traits, regardless of whether they’re negative or positive. As such, people with a rude demeanor may be more often paired with other people who are also seeking these traits.

The Allure of Success

Finally, the idea that rude and arrogant people can often achieve a great deal of success is an attractive prospect to some. The idea that one can act unduly or not in a composed fashion and still achieve grandeur is appealing to many, and it’s not uncommon for people to gravitate towards those that already portray these attributes.

Conclusion

It may seem like people with rude and arrogant personalities have more friends than those who are kind and compassionate, but it ultimately comes down to numerous factors that influence how people interact. Subconsciously, people may gravitate towards those who have similar traits, and the desire to fit in and experience success can draw people towards those with negative traits. However, success is not impossible for those who are kind – it only requires a different approach and the proper environment.

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Meta Description: Do rude or arrogant people really have more friends than kind people? Learn how human nature and subconscious pairings can draw some to negative traits and why success is achievable by those who are kind.